Did you ever wonder what all the jargon a doctor of therapist uses really  means?  So do we!  One day one of our therapists, Bill, and one of our secretaries were out in the secretary’s office discussing a report Bill was doing regarding an adolescent who had some substance abuse issues.  Come to think of it, tell me how many teenager you don’t who don’t have issues whether they are related to substance abuse or any other kind of problem.

Bill was sighing as he told our secretary, “How do I say it is not atypical for a teenager to experiment with some sort of alcohol?”  Our secretary replied, “Are you attempting to say it’s not typical for a teenager to experiment with alcohol?”  To which Bill replied, ” No.  I’m trying to say it’s not atypical for a teenager to experiment with alcohol.”

The puzzled look on our secretary’s face said it all.  “Wait a minute.  Are you saying it is not not atypical or do you mean it’s typical?” she asked.  My office door was open while all this was transpiring, and I couldn’t help but overhear their conversation.  Believe me, with all the stuff that happens around our office, I have no need to eavesdrop!

“What are the two of you trying to say in the report?  That it’s not typical for a teenager to experiment with alcohol?  Or are you saying that it is typical for a teenager to experiment with alcohol?” I asked.

“What does atypical mean?” our secretary asked.  She was always ready to cut to the heart of any matter.  “Let me look it up and see exactly what it means,” she said as she went to the computer.  “Okay, here it is.  Atypical means something that’s not typical.”  She leaned back in her chair with a sigh of satisfaction.

“So, I want to say that it’s not not atypical for a teenager to experiment with alcohol, right?” Bill said.  By this time Bill was getting really frustrated with the conversation.

This entire conversation was getting too deep for the three of us.  You would think three grown well-educated professionals with all sorts of tools at their disposal would be able to write one brief report without all of this confusion.

“Bill, are you trying to say it wouldn’t be unusual for this teenager to experiment with alcohol just like other teenagers do?” I asked.  I was getting really confused by this entire conversation.

“Yes, that’s it!  That’s exactly what I’m trying to say!” Bill exclaimed.  You would have thought I had discovered the cure for cancer with the joyful reaction he gave me.

“Then just say it’s not unusual for a teenager to experiment with alcohol,” I suggested.  Bill and our secretary looked at me like I had three heads.

“But don’t I have to use the correct terminology in the report?” Bill asked.  Our secretary shook her head in agreement.

“Not if you’re not sure what the person reading the report is going to think if you meant something one way and they took it another,” I answered.

“You mean if I meant a thing one way and the person reading the report read I meant it another way differently than what I originally meant it?” Bill asked.  Oh, no, here we go again I thought.  I could see another confusing conversation heading my way.

“Just say it’s not unusual for a teenager to experiment with alcohol,” I sighed.  I was not going to get into another conversation regarding linguistics or semantics.  Besides, I didn’t know the answer.  By this time my head was spinning.  Come to think of it, I couldn’t remember what the question had been either.

Linguistics or semantics…I didn’t understand fully what they were either.  I was definitely not going to try to explain them to Bill or the secretary.  “I have a lot of phone calls to return and paperwork to finish,” I said as I gently closed my door.  It’s a wise person who learns when to admit defeat I thought as I walked to my desk and opened my appointment book.  I would save this battle for another day.