Things Maggie Has Taught Me
1. Live in the Moment: Alcoholics Anonymous has a wonderful philosophy regarding “One Day at a Time.” I would like to suggest we live “One Moment at a Time.” So much of the time we are so busy either looking back at the past or looking forward to the future, we forget that all we truly have is the present moment. Maggie doesn’t worry where her next dog treat is coming from. She knows I will always do my best to take care of her. She is able to rest assured that tomorrow will take care of itself.
2. Love Overcomes Fear: Thunderstorms and rain are traumatic at our house, because Maggie is terrified of them. We have tried The Thunder Shirt (it didn’t do a thing except make Maggie feel hot), Prozac (yes, they give Prozac to dogs, but it didn’t help, although she did seem a little less depressed!), and a sedative for dogs. The sedative works, but I have to keep getting up off and on all night when Maggie jumps down off the bed (yes, she sleeps with me!) to get a drink of water so that she doesn’t go out the dog door without her Invisible Fence collar. I have found that if I hold Maggie next to me and she gets warm, she drifts off to sleep and forgets about the thunder, lightening, and wind. The love and comfort she feels from being next to me overcomes her fear of the storm.
3. Let Go of Grudges: Maggie has taught me to let bygones be bygones. That’s not to say that in the past I may have held onto a resentment I felt towards someone who I felt had wronged me, but I have worked very hard at letting go of the past. Grudges don’t hurt the person you hold them against, they hurt the person holding them.
4. When You’re Happy, Show It!: It’s okay to let other people know you’re happy. Dogs wag their tails and jump about when they are excited. Sometimes, we forget to fully enjoy the good things we are given. We trudge along every day never fully allowing ourselves to feel the enjoyment of being alive.
5. Be the Best You Possible: Dogs don’t try to imitate what other dogs look like. Maggie is a Shih Tzu. She doesn’t envy a Collie or a Poodle. She is happy being a Shih Tzu. She knows she has special talents and gifts only a Shih Tzu has. She may not be as fast as a Greyhound or as big as a Mastiff, but she is able to capitalize on how cute and cuddly she is.
6. Loyalty Matters: Maggie plays with everyone, but she knows when it’s time to leave for the day, she is coming home with me. She loves it when people pay attention to her, but when I pick up her leash, she’s ready to leave no matter what else is going on.
7. Never Stand When You Can Sit, Never Sit When You Can Lie Down, and Always Make Time for Belly Rubs: Maggie would be hard put to decide whether she likes dog treats or a belly rub more. It’s a sign of trust when she allows someone to rub her belly. You have to earn her trust. She doesn’t give trust to just anyone. We could learn a thing or two from her.
8. Listen to Your Body: Maggie drinks water when she’s thirsty. She lets me know when she’s hungry. She doesn’t look at the clock to decide if it’s time to eat or drink. She listens to her body.
9. Take Time to Play: We humans are so serious. As we grow older and accumulate more responsibility, we forget life is to be enjoyed. I have never heard of anyone on their death-bed saying they wish they had been more serious. I have heard a lot of older clients state one of their largest regrets is they didn’t live the life they had wanted, but did what someone else wanted them to do. When we enjoy what we do, it becomes more like play and less like work.
10. Persistence Pays Off: Maggie knows if she stares at me long enough and waits patiently, eventually she will wear me down. Maybe it’s the fact she is so patient and assumes I will give in, but it works every time!
11. Pay Attention to the People You Love: How many times have you caught yourself trying to win over people who don’t treat you well, while you take for granted the people who love you the most? This appears to be quite common among humans, but not dogs. Dogs pay attention to the people they love, because they know they people they love will pay attention to them. Lesson learned…
12. Love with Your Entire Being: When a dog loves you, you know it. They may play with other people, but when it really matters, they are there for you. Maggie loves everyone, but she knows we are a pair. When I leave the office for more than 45 minutes for lunch, she begins to whine. The secretaries have tried to reassure her I am returning, but it’s only when she hears my voice she calms down.She knows instinctively I love her as much as she loves me. I forget who owns whom…
When Love Dies
Although the heart has a tremendous ability to love, in some people it also has the equal ability to be self-serving and cruel. I have had clients who have been married a relatively short time who have managed to rip each other to shreds emotionally. Some dates last longer than some marriages.
What troubles me the most are the clients who have marriages of long duration who fall victim to affairs and treachery. One client in particular concerned me. It was a client who had been married for over thirty years whose husband had left her penniless while he had transferred all of their financial assets into his name alone. The woman had no job skills and no contacts outside of her relationship with her soon to be ex-husband and their child.
When I first met this client, her life was totally in shambles. She mourned the loss of her “perfect” family and the life style they had once enjoyed. As we talked, I had the unfortunate task of informing my client that nothing in her marriage was as it had seemed.
People in “perfect” marriages don’t leave their partner penniless and take to living with another woman.
As we talked, my client began to calm down and listen to what I was telling her. I told her she was mourning an illusion that hadn’t existed for years. She needed to be practical and find a way to support herself and her child if she was going to exist in any sort of fashion.
One of the biggest things I was able to do was to call my former clients who all were members of The First Wives Club. I don’t know if you are familiar with the movie of the same name. It starred several popular female stars that joined forces when their spouses left them for younger women. Because of their friendship, the women were able to prosper and totally make their ex-husband’s lives miserable.
I am by no means a man hater. In fact, I like men and wouldn’t want to live without the opposite sex. I do dislike cruelty and dishonesty regardless of the gender of the person. Be they men or women we owe it to our partners to be honest and kind.
What became of this client? She went on to live a life filled with friends and things she enjoyed. She had to develop some job skills which she was able to do in short time. More than anything, she learned that she didn’t have to stay in a marriage where she wasn’t loved or treated well.
What became of all the money her husband had absconded with? Let’s just put it this way…that’s why God created forensic accountants. Never underestimate the power of a group of women when they have been wronged.
Why can’t we live by the Golden Rule? Why is it when we leave childhood behind, we also leave behind all the moral and values some of us are taught? When love dies, kindness and compassion sometimes fall by the wayside.
If you are in a good relationship, give your partner a big hug and tell him or her how much they mean to you. Never take your relationship for granted. Treat your partner like you would like to be treated and never ever be too busy for your friends!